Oct. 2nd, 2008

badatapologies: (plan 9--tor and vampira)
I also note the passing of the original Mr. Clean, House Peters Jr, a journeyman character heavy in westerns and sci-fi serials of the 40s, 50s and 60s, and son of the silent film actor. Peters gets short shrift at wikipedia, but Mr. Clean's entry is a ripping good read, with a bizarre stream-of-consciousness timeline that is written, as the Wikipedia editors like to say, in an in-universe style. Some highlights:
"In the winter of 1963 Mr. Clean played a police officer "Grimefighter" who really arrested dirt problems...In April 1965 Mr. Clean got mad at dirt and appeared as "New, Mean Mr. Clean." In the spring of 1966 Mr. Clean played "two-fisted" grime fighter, who knocked out dirt with one hand and left the shine with the other. In spring 1966 Mr. Clean...grew whiskers for brute strength, had a black eye to show floor "shiner" and testified in court against dirt. In Spring 1968 Mr. Clean was a "Changed Man" and was reformulated to include pine aroma and better cleaning "in the bucket." In the summer of 1974 "Two Fisted Mr. Clean" was introduced, who was great at cleaning on one hand and on the other hand he leaves what's shiny gleaming."

Yes. And in 1991 Mr. Clean was found slumped over the wheel of his Lexus in Newport Beach, smelling faintly of astroglide and ham, a loaded revolver and a baggie containing a gram of "magic eraser" on the passenger seat. Mr. Clean told authorities that dirt had "set him up" and that this time he would "get that son of a bitch once and for all."

No, no. I can't prove that happened. But dirt had better have one hell of an alibi for the night of Mr. Peters' death. Did you know that in Europe, Mr. Clean is known as "Mr. Proper"? Because Europeans took one look at that package and said "how can we make this gayer?" Why not just go all the way and call it "Mr. Fastidious, Extremely Handsome Bachelor Who Wears One Earring And A Tank Top, Lives In A Loft, Works Out A Lot, Likes House Music, Has Numerous Male Friends And Bakes A Heavenly Tiramisu"?

Typography issues, I'm guessing. In Mexico he's known as Don Limpio, which, I mean, write your own joke there.


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