Bad At Apologies

Actual audition notice in my mailbox this afternoon:

"[ PEPPERONI ]
Female / Caucasian / 20-35
She is a sassy Parker Posey-like gum smacking piece of Pepperoni who has an attitude about kids wanting anything less fabulous or less popular than her on their pizza."

First James Dean decided to go into the sausage-smoking business and now Parker Posey's gone Parkeroni. (And before you ask, I'm too tall for the suit, and I weigh like four Parker Poseys. Plus I'm the wrong type--I'm like Teri Garr crossed with Twinkie The Kid.)

Attention urbaniak: They are also auditioning for a neurotic onion.