Rookie Mistakes (part 11,721 in a seies)

[badatapologies]

Ah, a nice sunny summer day. So warm. Nice hammock in the backyard, calling my name.

So warm. So deliciously warm. Liberated from the nasty-ass Bay Area foggy misery at last! I'm so tired of being covered up. And this babydoll t-shirt tan is embarrassing. The fence is high, no one can see over. Dare I-- dare I sunbathe topless?

I do. I dare. Yes. Ah, the sun. So warm. So very warm on my translucent Morticia-Addams-esque skin. Sunbathing topless! Lookit me, I am a fancy European whore! So decadent. So relaxed. So very...sleeeepy. So sleepy. So warm and sleepy. So.... zzzzzzzzzzzz....

90 minutes later...

So very sunburned. Youch! Damn you, European whores! Anyone got any cocoa butter or aloe or Noxema or whatever you're supposed to do with sunburned...skin?

Also please send Jude Law to apply same. Thanks.

Comments

[fj.livejournal.com]

As a European SLut, I could have told you we bloody use sunscreen or, more common, we try to have the sunburn over with in the first three days so we tan beautiful in the next two and a half weeks.

Is Jude Law actually still hot?

[mcbrennan.livejournal.com]

"Is Jude Law actually still hot?"

Well, his hotness is debatable, but after the unfortunate nanny incident and his flaccid box-office results of late, I figured I had a legitimate chance of him being available and willing.

I should've done the sunscreen but I was feeling decadent, throwing a challenge down to the gods. Sort of like Icarus. With wax boobs.

I was eager to shed my ghostly pallor, but blotchy tomato is no better. Next time I'll try it the European Slut way...